Intro to Acting - The First Shot, Sleepy Stewie

So I said I was going to do it, and here it is.  My first shot from Intro to Acting (or Class 4 for you AMers!).  I've never been happy with this shot, and I think part of it was the business and feeling that I needed to pack a ton in to it.  I wanted a belly scratch, a head swing, a pause for "dramatic effect", etc.  It would have been a much nicer shot if there was much less happening.

Here's the initial blocking pass which isn't half bad.  I think I should have realized that it was a bit much at the time since none of my characters actions had any time to breath.  They were just firing off, one at a time.  Since this guy was supposed to be exhausted, his walk would have been incredibly slow with feet dragging, maybe a pause when he got to the door, etc.  Everything just... went.  No time to let him doze off, let the audience really get a sense of his exhaustion... he just moved from action to action.  Looking back, I'd strip out the belly scratch (secondary action) and have him wobble a bit when he gets to the door.

ZZZZzzzzz.... 

Skipping a few weeks ahead, here's the final piece.  I did end up ditching the ending and Paul Mendoza gave me some great advice, which sadly never really made it in to this shot (at the time I was beyond burnt out and rushing every week).  If I had it all to do over (and I will!), I'd definitely polish this thing a lot more, spend the much needed time on the body mechanic issues and also make it a lot simpler.

*sigh*

Here's my advice, for any shot... KEEP IT SIMPLE.  Yeah, I know, they tell you that constantly at AM, but it's true.  Seriously, plan out your shot and then sit on it for a day.  Go back and check out what you have and see if you your character takes any time for himself... is he constantly going from pose to pose?  if so, is that the theme/tempo of the shot?  What can you strip out and still get your point across?  It will probably make it read a lot better and you can really delve in to great poses instead of trying to figure out how your character is going to get from here to there in 3 frames!